I am not too sure why, but it hurts like I slept wrong and my neck somehow ended up turned the wrong way.

Sorry about not writing too much lately, Most of you know I have been feeling very down about current events in my life, and I promise after Thursday, I will write all about them, but it’s Time Sensitive information.

So, this last weekend was the Farpoint convention. The weird thing is that I was not really that excited to go. I mean, I love hanging out with my friends there and doing the whole party thing, But it just didn’t have the zing that conventions in the past held. From what I understand, a lot of people felt that way. Even the convention wasn’t that great. They moved all the Fan Tables into the dealer’s room to fill space because a lot of Dealers didn’t show up. And the ones that did show up had all the same things that are always there, the action figures that are 20 years old (and Look it).

What made the convention was the parties. And Garrison Tyranus knows how to Party. We even had members of other garrisons attend and want to join us. It was nice to see the Ghetto Garrison Pull Together so many members! Now if Only I had been feeling better so that I could enjoy it to its fullest extent. I was still feeling sick through most of the convention, and not sleeping well didn’t help too much.

When we got back on Sunday afternoon, both Amy and I were quick to fall asleep on the couch for a much needed nap. Around 5ish I woke up and while Amy was still asleep, I cooked her a nice Chicken dinner. I lit some candles and put flowers on the table. So when she woke up we had a nice Candle lit dinner.

It wasn’t long after, that we decided to hit the Hay, and I slept like a rock.

But my Neck still hurts, and I don’t know why.

Well, another weekend come and gone. Nothing too monumental of note to write about. Significant accomplishments for the weekend include, Cleaned the Den (sort-of) enough for Lee to stay in, took a large amount of crap from the outside storage Closet to the trash, Deep Cleaned the kitchen, watched the Super bowl, And relaxed. Best thing about the Super bowl was of course the commercials. I think my favorite one was the Cat Killer commercial.

My Biggest problem right now is still this depression that I can’t seem to pull myself out of. I recognize it, I know what it is, I know what I need to do to get out of it, but I just don’t seem to have the motivation to do so. I know a great deal of it has to do with upcoming events. (to be disclosed at a later date). But still, I know I need to get out some more, but I hate going out when I am broke. The reason I am broke is because I am trying to Pay off some Credit Cards so I can be Debt free. It sucks because I have a number of people that have been calling on me to do things either with them or for them, but lately all I want to do is crawl in a corner by myself and scream out GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME ALONE!

I hate it when I get like that. I Like people, and I will usually do anything I can to help out friends and family.

This weekend is Farpoint, and Lee is coming for a visit. With any luck, that will pull me out of the funk and put me back in the fast lane. I hope.

You would think that I would have played WoW a lot more of done something worthwhile, But in Truth, I relaxed. My body was sick and it said “Stop”. So that’s what I did. Yes, I picked up the house a little, but that’s because, 1: it needed doing and 2: I had been lying down for so long that I had excess energy. But aside from that, I laid on the couch and just let my Body repair itself.

Now, for the philosophical question. Why does the typical person, while flipping through TV shows, Stop and watch a movie playing on TV when he actually owns the DVD of Said movie? I have found myself doing this on More than one occasion. Last night is was “Dr. Dolittle” the Eddie Murphy version. It’s the strangest thing, I know that I have the movie, and it’s un-edited, with no commercials. So why then, do I sit and watch it on a broadcast. Is it laziness? Come on now, I know I am not the only one who does this.

What is it with groups and clubs that bring out the worst in people? I am a member of the 501st Storm Trooper Legion. Before that I was a member of the SCA. In the SCA it really became a pissing contest of “Who has the better costume” “Whose stuff is more historically accurate” and so on. When I joined, I just wanted to Dress the period and have fun with people who did the same thing. It was like that for around the first year or two, then I started getting further and further into the mechanics of the club and seeing the beast for what it truly was. There would constantly be bickering over who was doing what event, and so many people had to be there to do certain things. It became less of a Fun place to hang out and more of a “Job.” Well, I didn’t want an extra job that didn’t pay me, so I left. I still have some of the out fits and I wear them at conventions, but No more SCA.

So along came this great group called the 501st. Storm Troopers! Who doesn’t like star wars and storm troopers? I have always loved Star Wars. And the idea of Dressing up as a Scout Trooper from Return of the Jedi appealed to me. I could go to Conventions, I could help with Charities. These people are huge star wars fans, as well as other Sci-Fi fantasy movies. So I dove in head first. Assembled my Scout Trooper with some help from some very talented people, and started in having fun. Conventions, Parties, Parades, you name it and I was trying to be a part of it!

Now sadly, my motivation has died down. Partly, I am sure, to the winter blahs, but also to the fact that I see the same politics and bickering going on here that I saw in the 501st. Is it really so hard for people to Just get together and have fun? Why does it have to be a contest? I shouldn’t feel the need to spend $3k on a costume just because you spent $2k on yours. If I want to throw a Bed Sheet over myself and call it a ghost, why can’t we just have fun with it?

Anyways, I wonder what the next group will be like.

This weekend was another blah weekend, I was sick so I really didn’t feel like doing much of anything. Saturday was spent mostly playing World of Warcraft. Have to say, this is one of the Best MMORPG’s on the market right now. Very stable, very well populated, and very very entertaining. I think I will probably write up something more about it later this week.

Since Saturday was kind of a lazy around the house sort of day, we decided to try and get out on Sunday. Of course that didn’t last long, as I started feeling sick again. While out, we stopped by Wal-Mart and picked up “Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow” and the curled up on the couch to watch it.

This was a good Flick. Very “Film Noir” style of filming with a 30’s sci-fi theme to it. The cinematography was amazing and the special effects were awesome! The acting was good, not great, but good. Overall I would recommend it out to people. On a completely side note I would like to ask a question about the DVD I purchased. On the front of the DVD case it said “Special Collectors Edition.” In and of itself that’s not bad. What was bad is that 1: This was the only version available for sale, and 2: There was nothing special about it. It was just like any other DVD with some extra features. I know it’s just some marketing ploy to sell more DVD’s because they are the “Special Edition”. My Question is, what will they call it when they, inevitably, release the real Special Edition. They always do that with these movies. The initial release comes out and then a few months later the special one with all the cool stuff comes out.

So anyways, that was the highlight of Sunday. The down side came in about 2pm when I started to get a headache. This, of course, turned in to a full blown migraine by around 4:30ish. After a 30 min shower I finally gave up and turned off all the lights in the house and curled up in bed. I don’t think I can adequately explain how much having a migraine hurts. You literally want to pull your head off and smash it against the wall because that would probably hurt less.

And of course this is the time when my entire family wants to call me and chat, or ask questions. My head hurt so much, the Light from the Cell Phone sent stabbing pains through my brain and the ringer was louder than if I pressed my ear against the bells of Big Ben. I really hope I am feeling better this coming weekend, I have far too much to do.

That’s how I have felt today. I have been super busy at work. The way my “Cubical” is set up here I have about 3 Computers on my Desk (which is a full U shape) and then a “Laptop Deployment Station” (which consists of a table with an Ethernet plug and power) at the end of my desk.

Well I have been bouncing between the 3 computers and the Station all day long. Thus the reason I have not really had the chance to Post much today. And worst of all, it’s Friday! I have no idea what all is going on this weekend. I guess assuming it’s halfway decent outside I may try and clean that shed out, but I know it’s going to be crazy cold.

Part of me wants to go out and do something, the other part wants to stay in and clean and stay warm and play on the PC. Not sure which part is going to win as of right now. I think this weekend is going to be a play by ear weekend. I honestly think I am getting over-stressed and I am not even sure why. Anyone ever get that way?

/sigh

Ok, so someone needs to loan me 15,000 bucks! I have to . If you look in the “About Me” section you will see me in front of a mock up of this car. I have always loved it. If I could afford to own a Delorean I would. But this guy goes one step father and actually Mods the car to Back to the Future Standards!!! Is it too late to ask for this for Christmas??

Ok, I noticed that a bunch of the blogging crew (seems everyone has one now) have been writing about significant memories. Seeing as how I rarely want to be left out, I thought I would bring to you this little story. I wrote this a few days after the September 11th attack. Some of you know that I was in the Pentagon at the time. This happened while Heather and I were still married, and I was still in the military. In case you were wondering, I did speak to a counselor after the incident and I was suffering from a bout of Survivors guilt, but I have since overcome that. A very Wise person explained to me that fate works in mysterious ways, and if I were meant to survive the way I did, then I should be content and give thanks for what I have.

Once again, this was written just a few days after September 11th 2001. This Story is entirely un-edited or revised. This is how I wrote it over 3 years ago.

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I thought I would write this down to let you know what Happened. Tuesday I went to work for a very normal day. The morning went fairly normal and standard. Then we saw then news about the WTC. At first I thought that it was just a terrible accident. My friends Doug and I left the office and headed to the ATM to get some money for Breakfast. While waiting for the ATM to open someone came by and said that a Second Plane struck the WTC. I started to realize that this was odd. But I have a great amount of faith in my Military and knew that the investigation had already started. To me at the time it was still just a CNN image. Doug and I got our food, bagel, bag of chips, and an Iced Tea, and came back into the office to watch the report. I finished my Bagel and sat down at the Internet computer. 9:43; I heard a Noise that sounded like a Generator starting up. For a split second, because of the thought of terrorism on TV, I thought Could it? Nahh, this is the Pentagon. So I started to send Heather a Text message to her Cell phone. “2 Planes hit World Trade Center. Turn on CNN”.

I logged off and Sat at my desk. Started eating my chips and decided to call my Friend at Clarendon (another building nearby). I picked up the Phone and Hit the speed dial Button, but noticed the Numbers on the phone were all wrong. When I hung up to call again, someone came in a said “get out” Having My Tea and chips still in my hand I ran for the door. The thoughts going through my mind were “This is just a standard Precaution, Just Routine” I exited the Pentagon through the 8th Corridor Exit to North Parking. Walking out of the Building I started to realize the Magnitude. I looked over my shoulder and stared at the Black Plume and Flames coming from the building I was just sitting in. I moved with my co-workers to the middle of North Parking and we started to keep lookout for others from our area. We sat and watched. The only thoughts going through my mind were of somehow getting a hold of Heather and telling her that I am ok. I thought “I just told her to look at CNN and she will see this”. It was soon after that someone came with reports of another plane.

I ran.

With others from my office in front we ran to the end of the parking lot. We saw a Van with some people we knew and got in. They drove us to the Vienna Metro Station, which is on the west side of DC. I live on the East side. In the Van I was loaned 2 Cell phones. One was calling heather’s Cell, the other calling my parents. The Cell network was swamped. I got through to my Mom First. When she answered the phone, I knew the emotion going on in her head. I said “I’m Ok. I made it out ok” The relief I heard from her was overwhelming as she said “thank you” We hung up quickly so that others could do the same. I still tried desperately to reach heather. I boarded the Metro at about 11:20. We started out eastward Back through Washington DC. Every now and then I would ask someone for the use of their cell phone. One of the Calls I was able to get through to Heather’s Voice Mail and I left a Message on the home phone saying, “I’m Ok, I am on my way home” But I still had not talked with her directly. After leaving the Pentagon, I heard nothing else about what was going on. I didn’t know if she had been evacuated or hit.

Every time the train stopped when not in a station I had fears, my heart leapt. I had visions of Japan attacks on the subway. On top of everything else, I had to Pee. Bad. I reached the Stadium Armory Station, The sop to change to the Blue line that would take me home. I saw Train right after train come through. Leaving Stadium Armory the trains come above ground for a moment. I borrowed another cell phone and called Heather. I got through. I told her I was ok and that I loved her. She said she loved me. And I lost signal as the train went underground. It was 12:30. I got to Addison Road and went across the street to a Barber shop to use the restroom. I would like to say that on any other day I would have done my best to make it home before going into there because of the neighborhood I lived in. I was in Uniform and for one of the first times since living here, I saw no hate on anyone’s face, I didn’t see a Hispanic person or an African person. I saw an American person. Concern painted on everyone’s face. I got a ride home from another Military person and borrowed the key to my house from my neighbor. My keys were still in the pentagon. Everything was there. I didn’t even have my hat.

I had 13 messages on my machine. So many people Called to hear from me. So many people cared. I finally talked with Heather. She was locked down on Bolling AFB and couldn’t come home. A fellow military member invited her to their home. I went about calling everyone who took the time to call me. Heather got home at 5:30. Tuesday evening I went back to the Pentagon to retrieve my things. I walked in and there was a thin layer of smoke in every room and hallway. I could smell the burning. It sickened me. I was smelling the Burning remains of my Military Brothers and sisters. I got my stuff and got out. Heather and I went home and I showered. I went to sleep, and thankfully, didn’t dream.

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I like the simple things in life. Sleeping in on a Saturday morning, a warm Chai on a cold morning while looking out at the snow covered trees, spending time with friends and laughing about the time I lit a bottle rocket attached to my shoe and it didn’t fly (but I sure did). The world is a very complicated place, I realize this. We have silly things like war, famine, crime, poverty, organized religion, and other things that make life on this plane of existence a pain in the tuckus. My question is, why?

Why is there War? Apparently, someone back a thousand or so years ago didn’t like someone else for something they did to their father or land or sheep, and because of this, we have millions of people pointing guns at each other. But why? What does it solve now? Over the past bajillion years we have grown as a human race to the point of drawing lines in dirt to say that “This dirt is mine, that dirt is yours.” Now there is no Un-Owned dirt. We war with each other because your dirt is better than my dirt and I want it. Even more so, we war with each other because my god is better than your god. But more on this later.

Why is there Famine? When I moved into my new apartment, I looked around the area and noted to myself that there was a grocery store located nearby. I knew that in order to purchase food from said store, I would need a job. That job would require me to exert energy to produce a product of some sort for my employer. In return, my employer would then give me money. With that money I can buy food. For that matter, in older days, mankind would plant their own food and harvest it themselves, thus exerting energy to produce, well, produce. Now, knowing all of this, why do I turn on my TV and see commercials about “Feed the starving children in Slabdonia!” If Slabdonia doesn’t have food, and can’t produce food, and they can’t somehow produce something that can be traded for food, why do people live there? We have lots of starving people where in the USA, why wouldn’t we send money to help feed the starving children who are already here? I saw 2 “homeless” people on the street, one with a sign that said “Hungry, please help” and he was just laying there with a cup. The other was playing a Sax, his sign said “Hungry, but at least I am not sitting on my ass with a cup.” He was playing pleasant holiday music and providing some sense of atmosphere to the street life. He was producing, and I, as a walker of the street was his employer. I gave him money.

Why is there Crime? Mostly I believe that crime centers on greed. The essential “I want what you have because I don’t have it” syndrome. So instead of finding the above mentioned job and exerting the above mentioned energy, a different kind of energy is spent to induce potential risk to achieve a product. But why? Is the risk worth the goal? Does it really take that much more energy to just work for what you want? The person who has the product now apparently worked for it.

Why is there Organized Religion? Keep in mind when I ask this that I am all for people having their own beliefs. I don’t fault the Bhuddest for believing in Bhudda, I don’t fault the Pagan for believing in the earth. What I am asking about is the Money Grubbing Churches that ask people to send them their fortunes so that they can buy more airtime on TV. The Religions that beg for money, so that they can send people overseas to other regions, to convert people who don’t believe in their god. The people who Go on TV and beg for money to feed the starving children in Slabdonia, then use the money to make more TV ad’s to beg for more money. They claim that it only takes 17 cents a day to feed a whole tribe there. How much did it cost to make that commercial? Couldn’t you have just given that money to them? Come to think of it, why are they in Slabdonia in the first place? Didn’t we already learn that they can’t get food there? Besides, all you want to do it Trade them food for them believing in your god, so they their neighbors will war with them and steal their food! This has been going on for eons! The organized mob that claims “My God is better than Your God, so you better choose him!” WHY??? Why can’t we just let it be? You believe in your god and be happy, I’ll believe in mine and be happy. You know what would happen then? You would find that we have something in common, Happiness! We are both happy, living in our little patches of dirt, working in our little jobs producing what we want to produce to get money for things that we want (like food), and worshiping who we want to worship.

Why is this Such a hard concept to come by?

Sorry, Felt like a rant. We now return you to your regularly scheduled madness. In the Meantime, here is some Pie.

Well, you may notice from my Absence that I was away from the ol keyboard for the whole weekend. It was nice to Unplug, sort of. I really did plan quite a bit for the weekend. Too bad I didn’t get much of it done.

Thursday, as you know, I was off for the Inauguration. Was nice, I think we stayed in for most of the day and went with Paul to Macaroni Grill for dinner. Friday was all me. Amy went to work so I was home all day by myself. I probably would have gotten a lot accomplished except that Lee and Doc also too the day off and we ended up playing EQII all day long. Seriously, we played all day.

Saturday it snowed like crazy. After spending a little time on the couch waking up, we decided to go out and do some shopping. I needed a new coat, and I wanted to drive on the snow in the truck. So we went to Galyans Sporting goods and looked at a bunch of them. I ask you, why would a simple winter coat cost like 300 bucks?? Seriously! It was crazy, almost all of them were around 2-300 bucks! I finally found what is probably “Last year’s model.” It cost me $50 and it really nice (you can see a pic of me in it on the photoblog). I also needed some shoes so we stopped at REI next. Here is a tip, don’t go to REI for shoes. They are overpriced and they hardly have a selection. It was Modell’s Sporting Goods next on the list. Now I am asking myself, “why I didn’t go there first?” They had some nice jackets for $20. They also had some great shoes at good prices. Well after all the shopping it was time to hit Starbucks. Paul met up with us and we just hung out for a while.

Sunday was a different story. I cleaned up the Computer Desk area and even combined it down a Bit (what did you know, the file cabinet fits under the desk) so now I have a lot more room over there. I didn’t get to the outside shed because, obviously, it was freaking cold. Also due to it being cold my knee started acting up a lot. For some reason by around 9pm Sunday I was just exhausted so by around 10pm I was in bed. I felt kinda bad because Lee and Doc were waiting on me to come back into EQ2 but I was beat. Guess I will make it up to them tonight.

Today at work has been moderately busy, mostly just trying to catch up from Friday. I may also be working late because of it. Ah well. Possibly more later.